Artistic Ralphs

Ralph Towner (b. Chehalis, Washington, March 1, 1940) is an American acoustic guitarist. He also plays piano, synthesizer, percussion and trumpet. Born in 1940 in Chehalis, Washington, Towner is one of the most diversely talented musicians of the past half-century, and has made notable recordings of jazz, classical music, folk music, and world music. He began his career as a conservatory-trained classical guitarist, then joined world music pioneer Paul Winter's "Consort" ensemble in the late 1960s. Along with bandmates Paul McCandless, Glen Moore, and Collin Walcott, Towner left the Winter Consort in 1970 to form the group Oregon, which over the course of the 1970s issued a number of highly influential records mixing folk music, Indian classical forms, and avant-garde jazz-influenced free improvisation. At the same time, Towner began a longstanding relationship with the influential ECM record label, which has released virtually all of his non-Oregon recordings since his 1972 debut as a leader Trios/Solos. Towner has also made numerous appearances as a sideman, perhaps most famously on jazz fusion heavyweights Weather Report's 1972 album I Sing the Body Electric.

Ralph the Wonder Llama was once called by President Bush to be "the greatest actor/filmmaker of the age". He has appeared in dozens of films and acted as a co-director in several others. Also, far more relevently, but cunningly not the first thing mentioned in this article (Take that, fourth wall!), Ralph the Wonder Llama is our lord and saviour, and he shall come(t) to this earth on the day of Judgement to judge us all on the day of Judgement.

*Ralph's first job was as a creative consultant in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
*Ralph the Wonder Llama appears in almost every battle sequence in The Lord of the Rings.
*Ralph appears in two scenes in The Wizard of Oz. At one point, he is seen eating a munchkin in the background. In the scene in which Dorothy is introduced to the Scarecrow, Ralph's ears are seen coming progressively closer over the rows of corn.
*Ralph the Wonder Llama plays one of the pilots in the 2006 film adaptation of King Kong.
*In the movie Spaceballs, the bumper sticker on the massive ship originally read "We Brake for Ralph the Wonder Llama." This alternate version was shown only once to a room of drunken Belgians.
*Ralph the Wonder Llama appears in every single Kevin Costner film.
*Ralph is in talks to adapt the Harry Potter films for silent movie theaters.